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[Thursday, November 4th, 2004
@ 3:40pm] |
so. the ICP kids are now considered a gang at my school.
yep.
the principal came on the loudspeaker and announced it.
i think it is complete and utter bull crap.
i mean, i don't listen to ICP, but that's what they kids are into. if they wanna listen to it, and wear their shirts and be juggalos and shit... FUCKING LET THEM!!! as long as they aren't hurting anyone which, as i far as i know, they aren't. it's bull. it's a band that a group of people like at our school. it's not a fucking gang. they don't do drive-bys, they aren't enemies of any other particular "gangs" they are just trying to get through life listening to what they want to listen to and wearing what they want to wear. it's got to be against some sort of rule to ban that. i guess if they'd done something wrong it would be different, but they HAVEN'T. fucking school. i'm glad this is my last fucking year. i bet if i come back in 5 years it will be a fucking private school by then, the way shit is going.
*shakes head*
i hope something goes down to change this. someone better start a protest or petition or something. i'm done. ...lol, it's weird. i really dislike ICP, and twistd or however you spell it, but i'd be the first fucking person in line to protest for it. and if no one else starts anything, then i fucking will. gah.
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[Monday, August 2nd, 2004
@ 10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
When you were here before
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You’re so fuckin’ special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.
I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I’m not around
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.
She’s running out again,
She’s running out
She’s run run run running out...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special...
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here.
I don’t belong here.
Creep - Radiohead
today was not a good day. today was an unhappy day. and now i'm feeling like i don't want to talk to anyone for the rest of my life. i'm almost inclined to put silverchair on. but i know that would not be smart. wow, i can't even explain this mood. there is little that can be done to fix it, too. because i've felt it before. i have no idea. so i'm just going to get dressed now and... go.
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| warped |
[Monday, July 19th, 2004
@ 11:12am] |
feh, it feels like i haven't updated in here in a while. so i shall do so now.
i had a simply lovely time at warped yesterday. i figured it would suck, so just went in thinking "whatever...maybe i'll get to see MSC if i'm lucky, or something." but it turned out to be awesome. they were the first band i got to see too! so that was nifty. and then we saw TBS, and thursday, and the last band we ended up seeing was the Early November! that was pretty damn nifty too, because that was really the only other band i wanted to see. so. and somewhere in between, my friend and i wandered past a tent, and i turn around and i'm like "hey...that's motion city soundtrack!" they were doing a signing and the line was like, 10 people long. so was like "oh wow, i want a signed poster thing...but NOOOO! i can't do it! i'm too scared!...but i really want one..." yes, i did that for a good ten minutes, lol. finally i just sucked it up and got in line. that was scary. i don't like to meet famous people. but it was okay i suppose. the first guy to sign (god, i feel bad, i don't even know which one he is.) i think it was jesse. he was like "how do you spell your name?" so i spelled out E-m-i-l-y, and after he wrote it (and spelled it wrong, lmao) he was like "OH! you could've just said Emiy..." heh. well, you asked me to spell it, so i did... anyway, i had no idea whatsoever of what to say, so i mostly just slid on down the table smiling and whatnot. i think if i'd even tried to say something it would've come out as a big garble of incoherentness. so i didn't take the chance and just kept quiet, lol. but, one of the guys, i think it was the one with the glasses Josh, he seemed REALLY grumpy. i don't know if it was because i wasn't making conversation, or if he was just in a bad mood, but he was all starting to mumble "ok, great, thanks for coming...hope you had a good time..." and i felt SOOOO horrible, like he thought i was just blowing them off, so i was like "yeah, i did, thanks alot," but i'm not sure if he was even listening. hm. what was up with that? do you think it pissed him off that i wasn't worshipping the ground he walked on or something? i would've, really, but it would've come out as, "hehyeah..um.mmfun..." or something. it was rather weird, and i feel kinda bad for that. i dunno, maybe he was just in a bad mood or something. :/ yeah for band members making me feel bad. but anyway, um, yeah, then i said thank you, and took the poster and we went on. whoo, that was scary, man! but i'm glad i did it, because i would've regretted it by now. so. anyway. got lotsa free stuff and that was good. and i bought a MSC shirt, and that was good. and we left at 5:30, because my ride's mom said so. :P i'll drive myself next year. but i didn't mind, really. but all of the bands SHE wanted to see played after we left, so that sucked. like, yellowcard, and story of the year, and new found glory. i didn't really care to see them. i'd already seen story of the year once, and yellowcard is okay, but i wouldn't die if i didn't see them. i would've liked to see new found glory, because they have a lovely live show i think, but that was okay. yeap. so it was great, i thought. and there was this boy there, i was calling him the cute boy. he had on the NIFTIEST boots ever! and an AFI shirt. looked a bit gothic-y for those who usually wander the warped tour, so that's why he caught my eye. so he was sitting a bit in front of us, and he looked absolutely sick. i suggested that maybe he was just suicidal... but then he threw up, and we figured sick was it. it was the coolest color of puke i'd ever seen too! it was like, this neon greenish. heh, sorry. too much info... but it was worthy of mention. anyway, so i felt so horrible for him and i was going to go over and see if he was okay, but then another girl beat me to the punch. and i was like "ROCK ON, COOL GIRL! way to help people!" yes, by this time the sun had gotten to my head, and i was talking outloud. so. but yes. i hope the cute sick guy is okay. hm. and that concludes my warped adventure, because i'm too lazy to type anymore.
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| friends only? ehh. |
[Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
@ 12:47pm] |
hm. all of a sudden i got horribly paranoid about who actually reads this particular journal of mine. i'm trying to think of whether or not i ever left a link to it in my dj. not sure. anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if more people than i'm aware of read it, though. because i keep randomly coming across journals of people that know or don't personally know, but no OF, and it got me to wondering how many people have randomly come across mine. now i'm trying to think of if there's anything in here that i really, really wouldn't want anyone to read. hm. again, not sure. well, i suppose there are a few random things here and there, that i may have stated. hm. *ponders* meh, it seems that most of this journal is just whiny bitching that i don't put in other journals because i don't want other people to have to sprain their brains reading it. but i'm thinking of making this journal friends only, because it is rather creepy having people read a journal of yours that you write it, thinking that no one is reading it. hm. but, on the other hand, if anyone has happened across this journal, then they've already read whatever there is to read it in, so what's the point of making it friends only now? feh. and what's the point in hiding anything anyway? although the spslash i suppose is a bit awkward, because i don't usually share that with people, other than those who read it. but meh, it's hot, so there. so. i suppose this will stay an open journal. no big deal. hm. so HI to anyone who may be reading this that i'm not aware of!!! *waves*
well, this post was extremely random. but that's what happens when you come across the journals of people whom you thought were DEAD. yes.
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[Sunday, July 11th, 2004
@ 12:31pm] |
bored out of my skull.
it sucks not having a life. it does.
and to top it off, i'm extremely pissed off right now, and i can't find anything to do to make me NOT pissed off.
and it's hot.
just...fuck. now i'm going to have to try and repress all these unhappy memories of recent events, and god damnit, that takes energy. energy which i do not have. so i remain extremely pissed. bahhhhhh.
warped is sunday. i might go after all. with erin. she wants to. and i would like to go with her, because we enjoy the same bands. however, i'd rather not if rides are going to be an issue, which it's looking like it might. it's pain, and it sucks, and i don't want to deal with that again. i'd rather not go if it comes to that. i'm basically treating it if it's not a big deal, and it's working so far. as of now, it's something that i MIGHT do on sunday. so. that's cool. tickets are a pain as well, and we haven't gotten any yet. but i'm not worrying about anything yet. i don't have the time/energy/patience. so. we'll see.
i'm sooo pissed at people at the moment. holy crap, everywhere i look i'm pissed at someone! it's inconvienent. i just got back from sarah and jesi's surprise party!!! fuck, i want to stab my eyes out with forks. if there was a fork here right now, someone would need to hold me back. everytime i see them/hear about them/think about them/anything about them/i get a little more pissed than i was the day before. and i just spent 2 hours with them. so i want to stab myself in the eye. sarah, she's not making it any better either. she makes it worse, actually. for fuck's sake, if she tells me to make up with them one more time, then THIS is the proposition i'm giving her: i'll be friends with them as soon as she is friends with maggie. HA!!! never gonna happen. i'm so sick of hearing sarah say shitting things about maggie all the time. ok, i don't care if you hate her, but don't say that stuff TO ME! she's my friend, i like her. i don't say shit to sarah and jesi to your face, because you would be horribly offended. although i had to bite my tongue SO MANY TIMES today. but anyway, it's ridiculous, and i'm so pissed at the 3 of them right now. towjtg[asogjsaog. but i still gave them their stupid presents. make them beanies, patches, cds, and made the gift bags. but just because i did all that, doesn't mean i'm not still utterly PISSED. i can't stand attention whores. if there's one thing that pisses me off, it that. that that that. when i'm around an attention whore, and their doing their little thing to get attention, it feelsl like someone's shaking up my insides until they are ready to explode. so then i either need to leave the room, or someone's about to get their head bitten off. which is weird, because i never get mad a people, i never yet, i don't like fighting. but. attention whores make me angry. and sarah and jesi are attention whores. and sarah h feeds into like there's no tomorrrow, which makes it worse which is why i want to stab my eyes out right now.
wow, this was not supposed to turn into a rant. i was simply going to state how i was bored, and have nothing to do. and there's nothing TO do because it's fucking hot. and i don't want to sleep even though i only got 2 hours, because it's too hot. and it's a bad time to go to sleep. i'll wake up at like, 10. bad. so. i have nothing to do. usually i'd just find food and sit infront of the tv, but i ate lots of cake and stuff at the party, so i can't even eat DAMMIT! that sucks. and, sad as it is, i can't really watch watch tv, unless i'm eating something to it. isn't that horrid??? it's true. i can't eat without watching a good tv show on, and i can't watch tv, without having a good snack to eat. that's awful. but i have stopped sleeping with the tv on. that's good. but i miss it. eh, i seriously need to live in the woods for a while. feh.
anyway.
whatever.
that was random.
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| BORED. |
[Thursday, July 8th, 2004
@ 7:56pm] |
holy hell, it's rather hot in here. stupid summer. blah. anyway, iiiii am waiting to see if Bri is ever going to get online, because i was going to tell her a 'secret', hehe. but she isn't on yet. or maybe i already missed her. hm.
dude, i have sunflowers all over my room in really nifty bottles! they ROCK! we picked them at rachel's house. that was quite fun. oh, that reminds me HI RACHEL!! hehe, i saw my livejournal link on your computer when i was at your house, and i was like, "hey, that's me!" i don't care if you read it, and feel free to comment if you want.
*picks nose*
i'm so borrred. lalkgjsldfkjasf. heheh, have you seen those new after school scene commercials? those are great. the one where the girl is all just saying to herself "this is my cat, blahblahblah," and then like 5 minutes later, she's all screaming it "THIS IS MY CAT!!!" swinging the cat around in circles. and the commercial is all like "boredom can lead to some pretty desparate things." or SOMETHING along those lines. lol, i thought those commercials were so funny, cause it's so true. the other day i was fucking walking around my kitchen in CIRCLES, for 20 fucking minutes just talking to myself!!! cause i was so bored. ohh. yes.
feh, well i'm going to finish a beanie i started the other day, i guess, and wait and see if Bri ever gets on...
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[Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
@ 6:48am] |
my sleep schedule has been rather unpredictable lately. i didn't go to sleep until about 2pm today. so that was a good day and a half spent awake. pretty odd for someone who used to nap 3/4 of the day. so i had about 4 hours of sleep today, woke back up at 6pm. and i've been up since. it's going on 7am right now, and i'm feeling rather disoriented. don't know if i'm gonna get lazy and just go to bed, or if i'm gonna say 'fuck it' and start my day. hm. do i even have anything to do today?
-give sam a call
-clean the living room
-finish my beanie
-work on some art
-start new roll of film
-possibly attempt new fic
-do some drumming
it appears that i have nothing of importance to do really. mostly artistic, creative crap that i use to fill up my rather boring life. but that's okay, cause i enjoy it.
i watched a few movies today. the secret window was the first. i liked it. all i knew about it was that it was about a writer or something and at the beginning when they're showing what his house looks like and everything, and when they zoomed in on him sleeping on the couch i was just like "oh god... that is what my life will look like in 20 years. oh god..." lmao. seriously though. i thought it was a cool movie, and i enjoy johnny depp. i wish i could act, man. but i'm too shy. so. mm, i wanna watch edward scissorhands now. meh... the second movie i watched was beautiful thing. i love that movie, heh. it's about these two boys who live in the same flat and one likes the other, and then the other starts to like the one, and it's all very cute and BRITISH. so that's fun. unfortunately, all i've got is a recorded version from when they played it on bravo a long time ago, and they've edited out a lot. the KISSING, they edited out the kissing scenes, can you believe it???? that's stupid. bah, whatever. still love that movie. it's going on my b-day wishlist i think. hm. i need to figure out if i want anything. jeez... not really. just a few movies, and a lip ring. ohhhhhh lip ring. so excited for that. but other than that, i don't really want or need anything else. material-wise. maybe...maybe i could like, go to a psychic/past life reader, or a workshop of that kind, or maybe even some rebirthing sessions as a present??? that would rock. but yknow what would be the best present? a boyfriend. nevermind, i did not just say that. *shakes head* i'm pitiful. OH! maybe a button maker. heh, that was random.
my brain is all over the place right now, lol. so i'm gonna go and work on my beanie. yay.
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| buh? |
[Thursday, July 1st, 2004
@ 5:56am] |
it's...wow, it's 6am! i'm considering just staying up today. might as well.
i've been researching my ASS off lately on the government and mind control/project monarch. that is some scary ass shit, and i certainly believe that it's true. which makes it scarier. and there's nowhere to go to hide from it. it's so sad. like, we can't escape it. it just so...hopeless. so i then i have to keep thinking of things to keep my spirit up. not trivial little things, because those don't work anymore. which i guess is a good thing. things like, i dunno. i guess it's not anything in particular. just a FEELING. can't explain. anyway.
it's time to take a break from all the heavy stuff, and get back on the lighter side for a little while, anyway. i think i'm going to leave the mind control alone for a while, cause it's too depressing. and i'll brush up on some atlantis and egypt, or aura reading or something. still heavy, but less saddening, kinda. mm. i don't know what to do just now though. i don't wanna read, i've been reading all day. my eyes feel like they're gonna fall out. hm. i'll find something.
yknow, i kinda miss rob. it's weird. i just do, kinda. he was very nice for a moment. i miss that, i think. i completely forgot what the point of this was. i know there was one, and i haven't reached it yet. hmm. holy crap, just nevermind. i think my brain is shutting down, lol. i have no idea what i'm talking about, once again, so i'm just gonna go now...
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| no warped. |
[Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
@ 5:06pm] |
ughhhhhhhhhh. i just talked to sarah hugill, and she'll be camping the day of warped. weeeee. that's 3 down who CAN'T go, which leaves me with no one else to ask. damn. yeah, i'm so not gonna be able to go this year. i'm so cursed with concerts. it sucks. every one i've ever been to has been absolutely a horror to figure out. like, getting the tickets, and getting a RIDE was always the worst. except for the linkin park concert. that was easy. and i suspect the only reason that one worked out was because a) someone gave me their ticket b) i didn't really want to go in the first place. i was very apathetic towards that concert, so i suppose that's why nothing went wrong. this sucks very much. it was the one thing that i was looking forward to this summer. figures. even if i did find someone to go with, like maybe megiddeh or something, we don't even listen to the same kind of music, so it wouldn't work. sdglkjaglk. blah, whatever, i give up. on the bright side, that's 30 bucks i don't have to spend. and i don't have to spend the next 3 weeks worrying about everything going wrong. and i don't have to worry about having a shitty time. ...but i still kinda wanna go. oh well. hm, i think i'm going to make a shirt that says "oh well." and then i can wear it on days where it seems fit, like today. wee.
lalalala, i'm sooooo bored dammit. and i have some majoy cramps, and midol has little effect on me unless i take like, 8 of 'em. sdlgkjasldg. well, i'm off to go do more of nothing...
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| quest. |
[Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
@ 12:51am] |
i made an iced cappucino smoothie thingy. it's really fucking yummy. but we didn't have any sugar left, (and we're out of flour, too) so i had to use a ton of those little sugar packet thingys. heh. but it worked.
lalala. i'm soooooo bored right now. don't know what to do. i missed that simple plan thingy that was on fuse today. bummer. i knew i was going to miss it too, just because i'd planned on watching it. and every time i plan on watching something, i completely forget about it. go figure.
i've been doing a lot of researching lately. about A LOT of topics. i can't come up with a decent category to put these topics in, so i'll just list them:
-Atlantis
-Alien races
-government conspiracies- (montauk, project monarch, one world government)
-Bermuda triangle
that's all that comes to mind at the moment. it kind of sucks that no one i know is into any of it, though, because i don't have anyone to discuss the topics with (in person). i've learned a lot in the past few days, and i want to write it all down RIGHT NOW, but i'm not going to. i suppose i will start making specific posts about specific subjects though. because learning is good. i am slightly paranoid that a government official is going to bust into my room and whisk me away at any moment though. or a Grey, for that matter. *shudders* eh. all for now. i've become lazy all of a sudden.
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[Tuesday, June 29th, 2004
@ 12:15am] |
funniest thing i heard today:
"I didn't mean to call you a Nazi."
heh. i'm amused.
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| randomness |
[Sunday, June 27th, 2004
@ 11:26pm] |
i feel... incomplete at the moment. i can't figure out why. i'm also rather nervous about some things, but nevermind that. i'm trying to stay in good thoughts. and trying to pass the time away until Bug Juice is on.
so, yknow what rocks? 90s alternative music. lmao. oh man, seriously i LOVE that stuff. like toad the wet sprocket, collective soul, gin blossoms, counting crows, live, and stuff like that. it's fun!
i'm fixing up my drumset a bit! it's this really boring off-white colour. and i got really tired of looking at it, to tell you the truth, lol. so one day i saw the new sugarcult video, (as if they don't play that video NONSTOP. good lord! on 4 separare occasions, i've seen it on 2 channels at once. they're gonna get overplayed...) and i was looking at the drummer's set. it's all checkered and stuff, right? well, i hate hate hate HATE ska, so i didn't wanna do that, but i decided to do something of the sort to make my set more interesting. so i found me some good ole electrical tape, and now my set is black and white striped! it actually looks really, really cool. you can't tell it's tape, even. so. sometimes it sad the things i find to pass the time with...
speaking of ska, i fixed my wallet. it used to be completely checkered, and i felt like such a hypocrite carrying it around, lol. so i painted a red circle with a line through it, and everything around the circle black. and then in red letters above and below the circle, it says "NO SKA". it makes me happy. i have a checkered shirt as well that i've NEVER worn, except once on halloween. i was a punk, lol. it was the most rediculous costume ever. anyway, i have to do something with that. i had a whole idea for it, but i've forgotten now. dammit.
OH! my mom got one of those nifty smoothie blenders! i'm stoked about that. dude. our old blender, we kept it in the cubboard with the fabric softener. don't as me why. but now it's plagued with this really gross smell, and i refuse to use it. which sucks, because we have this really good smoothie mix in the freezer. it's been in there for some time, lol. but i can finally make it! yay. heh, yes, i'm excited over a blender. go me.
i think i might make a new layout for this journal. i finished the one for my TOD. which is good! i thought it was take me decades to get that one done, but it only took a few hours. so. i just need an idea. that's the part i can never get, lol. i dunno. god, listening to all this 90s music is making me really want to see Empire Records now. i need to get that movie. it will go on the shelf with my SLC Punk and my Requiem for a Dream.
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[Saturday, June 26th, 2004
@ 1:41pm] |
great.
so sarah can't go to warped and all, right? so i called the other person who we were gonna go with, and guess what? SHE CAN'T GO EITHER!! how great!! i'm so excited. this means that i'm probably not going to be able to go this year!!! yay! there is one more person, sarah hugill, who was planning on going. i hope she does, cause then i can go with her. but she works alot, so i don't know if she's gonna be able to. she SAID she was, though. *sigh* god dammit. it's not that i don't wanna go alone. if i had to, i would. it would be really weird, but i would do it. but i don't have a ride. i can't fucking drive yet, and my mom refuses to highway drive. so. i'll be walking. jebus. warped tour can NEVER be easy for me. i had a shitty time last year, and i won't even have the OPPURTUNITY to have a shitty time this year, because i won't be able to go. fuuuuuuuuuuck. i really wanted to see MSC. really badly. i've never seen them in concert. and the early november as well. and a ton of others. just.. blah. whatever. i give up.
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[Saturday, June 26th, 2004
@ 2:26am] |
dflagldfkgja
before, i wrote an entry and it decided not to save. i suppose i could rewrite it, but i haven't the entry. so we'll forget everything that was in that one.
i'm thinking of starting a new fic. i haven't had the urge or the inspiration lately. for a long time, actually. i can't say why. well, i could say why, but it wouldn't come out right. it wouldn't make any sense, and i would just be wasting more energy, so i won't try. anyway, i do have an idea. one that i got like, MONTHS ago. but i'm afraid that i don't have enough inspiration to even get the story to go anywhere. and i DON'T star things unless i intend to finish them. so i'm unsure of what to do. i suppose i'll end up mulling it over for a week first, before anything is written.
so TOD got hacked. or rather, people's TOD's got hacked. mine was one of them. total suckage. why? not because i had important entries and crap, but because writing that god awful code for the layout was fucking MURDER on me. and now it's gone, and i'm going to have to start over, and i don't even know where to start. i was going to do that tonight, but lost my initiative in about 2 seconds. apathy is kicking in strong lately. there's so many things that i have planned to start, but i just don't have the initiative or the energy to carry it out. letsee if i can can even remember the stuff that i need to do:
-make tye dye curtains
-work on homemade t-shirts
-finish snapping the roll of film in camera so i can start on the new rolls
-paint the fence
-paint the shed
-burn cds
-write songs
-work on site
-write story
-read books (still haven't finished Revolution on Canvas)
-listen to cds that i bought months ago
-finish the cappucino in front of me...
yes, i know there's more, but i'm even too lazy to think of the rest. so what the hell have i been doing every day of the summer??? what do i do all day that keeps me from getting things done?? letsee, there's the tv. and the internet. and sleeping. and eating. i think that covers it. that's pathetic. i need to get my ambition back. ehhhh. i have nothing to motivate me though.
so sarah cannot go to warped. nuff said. go figure, huh? i'm not even going down that road. i'll talk to ashley tomorrow and see if she can and wants to come get tickets with me. her dad will probably say no.
god, this cappucino sucks. it was good when i first bought it, but now it's icky. it's the nescafe butterfinger kind. i like the mocha and the vanilla and the white chocolate kind, so i thought i'd try something new. just because i never try new things. and this is what i get. yay. but i'm finishing it. i paid for it, i'm fucking finishing it. sadlkgjsdlg today sucked.
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[Saturday, June 26th, 2004
@ 1:15am] |
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technology is not on my side today.
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[Thursday, June 24th, 2004
@ 12:59am] |
hm, i have an awful lot of albums that i need to listen to strait through. just sprawl out on the couch, get my cd player and some of those big huge headphones, and just do nothing but listen to each album strait through. i'm going to do that as soon as i can.
my tooth is in pain for some reason. since i am a paranoid fuck, i'm thinking that the mercury from one of the fillings is chipped and thus contaminating my bloodstream. but i think maybe i just brushed a bit too hard.
well, i had to go the hospital today because i sprained my ankle. i didn't even do it like, while skateboarding or anything. falling over in the closet is just a pathetic reason. but it is a funny story to tell, so i think i'll stick with it. it's kind of like the time my friend james broke his arm getting out of the shower. he slipped, aparently. i told him to stop telling people that, and say that he did it by like, jumping in front of a car to save a little kid from getting hurt. something like that. or at LEAST spice up the original story by saying that yes he broke it coming out of the shower, but it wasn't his fault; his boyfriend, whom he'd just got done fucking, had thrown his clothes right in the middle of the floor in the midst of passion, and he'd managed to trip over them. but nope, he stuck with his boring old story. at least mine's funny.
so, my crocheting is going very, very well. i finished a beanie, and it is a bit small, but it works. i got a whole ton of yarn, so i'm gonna make a whole bunch of them. and maybe if they look good enough, i can talk sarah into coming down to the skate park with me and selling them to unware, cute skaterboys with money. or if i'm lazy, maybe i'll just sell them all to jared; he lives right across the street. he's nice, he'll buy 'em. jared rocketh.
mm. ow, my damn tooth. fuck you, tooth. meh. well, i guess i'll get back to my crocheting.
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[Saturday, June 19th, 2004
@ 8:55pm] |
hm, haven't updated here in a while. guess i was busy or something? nah, just lazy.
so, i went to the mail today, and lo and behold, what was there? my marching band music!!! for this year's show. so i can practice over the summer. i'm sure many a people would groan at the though, but i'm psyched, cause i love marching band, man. lol, i promptly began practicing, and i can play through all of the songs just fine. i usually suck at sightreading, but it went fine. so. i just need to start on memorizing the songs. which is gonna be pretty easy. so easy, that i'm afraid to start. just cause, i dunno. i could have it all memorized in a week. and THEN what would i do for the rest of the summer?? lol. how sad. but yeah. i wonder if other people will take it as serious as me? probably not. i'm usually one of the more serious in the bunch when it comes to getting down to business. but then again, we are doing Pirates of the Caribbean, so people will probably be much more into it and excited. i am. so yah. i can't wait till band camp, lmao. i'm a loser. oh well. ugh, there's only ONE thing that will spoil my fun, and that is if eric joins band. he says he's gonna, but the band teacher kicked him out. rightfully so. now, i hate the band teacher, but i'm actually ON HIS SIDE... so that just goes to show how much i don't want eric in band this year. i can't put up with him anymore. if eric joins, then i'm threatening to quit. and that's that. seriously though, he's not dedicated, all he fucking does is cause trouble. i'm sick of it, half the band is, and most importantly, so is the teacher. so the teacher told me and the other drummer, kevin, that eric's not allowed to join this year. but eric's gonna try anyway. i really hope that he can't get it. first off, the teacher already ordered the score, which means that the drill is already set. adding another person in is not going to work, because we have a set drill for the number of people already enrolled. also, eric has no music. eric has no drum. so HOPEFULLY, eric has no chance. which means that i will be the only snare!! which actually i'm not that thrilled about, because it's like, major pressure. but dude, i'll put up with that and more if eric is not in band. oh yes. and kevin will be on toms. keivn's a cool kid, and a very good drummer. so it should be okay this year. we'll have to come up with a cadence, but i HATE doing that, so maybe we can just find one online, and use that instead. i'm lazy, dammit! so yah.
mm. i need money. a lot of money i need. i need to pay 95 to enroll in the french trip for next year, and i need that by july 31, (hopefully sooner, just to be safe). then a need another 400 by august 31. after that, i don't need the rest until like, next may. but i need to get those 2 payments out of the way. and then i also need to buy my warped tour ticket SOON. maybe i'm just paranoid, but my date is a month way. 29 days. i feel like i needed to have had that ticket in my hand by now. just to be safe. you never know. although i think last year my friend evan went down the DAY OF, and got a ticket, so i'm not sure. but i'd rather be safe than sorry. the problem is, i have to wait for my friend sarah to make sure she can go, so we can get our tickets together. and she procrastinates like no other, so i emailed her telling her to get to it. so hopefully we'll get our tickets by next week. just wondering, when do you guys usually get yours?? i think last year i might've gotten mine maybe 3 weeks before. but i have such bad luck with concerts and such, i'd feel much better if i had it NOW. so. gotta do that. and i think that's it money-wise. bah. i need a job, dammit. but you can't really get a job with purple hair. meh.
i went to the library today, and on the way i saw a pretty emo guy. just... wow. with the glasses and everything. he was with his girlfriend, and she seems to be pretty luck. way to go random blonde girl!! good job. i swear though, there are not emo boys in colorado springs. there just aren't. at least, i thought not until i saw that guy. and then once i got in the library, there was another one! not as pretty as the first, but pretty damn good for this town. so. note to self: go downtown on saturdays more often. and there was a bum in the library who was actually not too bad looking... but then i thing he cut one as he was walking, so that was a bit of a turn off. ehh. lol. i got nifty books though. no fiction this time, just non fiction. so that's cool. and i'm off. to.. watch tele probably. eh. what an exciting life i lead. oh boy.
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[Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
@ 12:41am] |
ehh. so lonely.
this sucketh.
so. i went 17 years of my life boyfriend-less. then out of nowhere, i got one. for a week. i suppose it will be another 17 years before that happens again. seriously. but maybe if i'm lucky this time, he'll stick around for... dare i say, 2 weeks??? *gasp* maybe, if i'm lucky. but i'm not lucky, so.
heh, don't mind me. being bitter is what i rock at. it keeps me sane. like daria. i love that show, heh. i still miss rob though. which SUCKS. cause he doesn't miss me any. i like hanging out with him, but i have the feeling he could take it or leave it. feh. anyway, it's all for the best. he's too fucking cocky anyway. i want an emo boy, dammit! but to find one in colorado would be to find a fucking needle in a haystack. especially in colorado springs. escpecially in this neighborhood. ehhhhhhhh. especially when i never leave my house. i probably should start to listen to silverchair again. i used to listen to them and ONLY them all through 7 and 8 grade, which somehow helped me not notice that i didn't have any friends. all i ever did those years was sit in my room and play my guitar. i occasionally took a walk with my friend sam. i had one friend. she fucking rocked. i miss her so much. i don't miss a lot of people. meh, i don't really even miss rob i guess, i just kinda want to see him. but i MISS sam. and i can't get ahold of her, either. i have the address where she moved to and i sent her a b-day present 2 years ago, but i never got a reply, so she probably isn't there anymore. hopefully she still has my phone number. damn. as;gljasg;ljsg. so. back to chilin in my room for the rest of my life. ehh. i wish there was food here. mom finished the pizza. now we're back to no food. so not cool. i might have to order another fucking one, i'm so hungry. god dammit. now i'm lonely AND hungry AND disgruntled. dammit! hehe, this sounds like a daria episode. "if i wrote stories, i would put people in them that i hate, and make them crawl. CRAWL!" hehehe. ok, i'm done.
...
*wills a random emo boy to appear out of nowhere*
did it work?
...
nothing. dammit!
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| quick update. |
[Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
@ 12:30am] |
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so. just waiting for my food to get done. ha... it's probably boiling over as i type. anyway... today was odd, kinda. didn't do much all day. but we did move my bed out of my room and into my mom's work room next door. so dude, there's ROOM in my room. sweetness. i just need a few more beanbag chairs and i'm set. it's so hippy. i love it. and guess the fuck what??? i fucking FIXED my nintendo!!!!!!! it rocks. it just rocks. i could go around the work fixing broken NES's for people, cause i know how to do it now. and it's so easy! yesssssss. so i've been playing mario for the past 2 days. mario bros 3 is my favorite, but i still like playing the first one too. i beat that one when i was like, 8, and i can't beat it anymore, lol. but yeah... it so fucking rocks. those are the only two games i have left though. i really wanna get skate or die. i LOVE that game!!! so if i can find it, i'll go buy it. they're cheap, i think. the games. hehehe, no more god awful flashing blue screen of death!! yay. hm, what else? oh... i went out with shannon and liz for two seconds tonight. we went to see some guy chris. he's a stoner, and he's so fucking funny. just... lol. but the apartments were scary. ehhh. maybe because it was night. i don't like going to apartment buildings though. i keep thinking i'm gonna get shot at any moment. it's scary. i used to live in them all the time when i was little, and i think it comes from that. it just makes me nervous now. i feel like a snotty upperclass bitch saying that, but it still freaks me out. heh, i'm not upperclass enough to say that, even, lol. anyway, moving along. so the being out with them inhibited me from calling rob tonight. i was going to do that. damn. tomorrow. tomorrow fucking night, i'm doing it. i HAVE to. it's been like, a week and a half, and he's gonna think i hate him. and i so don't! i love that kid. *sigh* i don't even know what i'm gonna say to him though. but i must call him. so. tomorrow i may go skateboarding with sarah. and MAYBE i can talk her into going with me to buy NES games, lol. oh! my food. better go make sure it's okay...
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